You’d think that buying a “quality” newspaper at the weekend would mean that if you hold it by the main fold and shake it, some “quality” items might drop out of it - but you’d be wrong.

Take last Saturday’s Telegraph as an example…..

What fell out of it was a glossy booklet sponsored by the Reader’s Digest proclaiming…”1,000 Ways to Save Money and Time”.  Obviously this sparked up a bit of interest as in the current climate we’re all looking to save a few bundles of cash and saving time is always a neat trick when you don’t have any to start with!

I opened the booklet and flicked through it eagerly.  Here are a few of the “top tips”:

1. Separate toes when applying polish Get the comfort of a salon treatment when giving yourself a home pedicure. Just place marshmallows between your toes to separate them before you apply the nail polish. Make sure your feet are completely dry though or they may get sticky!

Sorry but I don’t get this…..what woman in their right mind is going to think “I must get some marshmallows from the supermarket so that I can paint my toenails”?  It’s just never going to happen, plus who gets to eat them afterwards?

2. Make a facial mask Pat your face with mild yellow mustard for a bracing facial that will soothe and stimulate your skin. Try it on a small test area first to make sure it will not be irritating.

This sounds highly dubious to me and brings a whole new meaning to hot flushes!

3. Wash lettuce in washing machine If you are expecting lots of people for an outdoor lunch and have lots of lettuce to wash, place one pillowcase inside another. Pull apart the lettuce heads and fill the inside case with lettuce leaves. Close both pillowcases with string or a rubber band and throw the whole package in the washing machine with another large item, such as a towel, to balance it. Now run the rinse and spin cycle. Your leaves will come out rinsed and dried more effectively than in a salad spinner. 

Hmmmm…..first of all, no matter how big your party, nobody eats this much lettuce especially after you tell them how you “cleaned’ it.  Secondly, aren’t you meant to carefully pat lettuce dry so it doesn’t bruise?

4. Make an extra grill If you have a big party or barbecue planned and the grill is not big enough to handle all those burgers, sausages, steaks and hot dogs, improvise a second grill by building a fire in an large old pot. Cook on a wire cake rack placed over the pot. After you are finished, put the pot’s cover on to put out the fire and save the charcoal for another outdoor cooking session.

Or in true knokknok style, ask a friend if you can borrow his!

5. Make cut flowers last longer Don’t throw away the last drops of a bottle of soft drink. Pour about 50ml into the water in a vase full of cut flowers. The sugar in the drink will make the blossoms last longer. Note: If you have a clear vase and want the water to remain clear, use a clear drink, such as Sprite or 7-Up.

Yes, I can see it now…..children all over the land topping up their glasses of pop and, instead of emptying the last few dregs, they miraculously hold the last bit back to keep for their mother’s cut flowers…a likely story!

I had expected to read a few gems that would help make the credit crunch a little more palatable but this booklet is a joke and a complete waste of time (even more so than this article)!  I wonder how much it cost to produce?

I shan’t be buying the accompanying book.

Tags: news, ranting and raving

This entry was posted on Monday, February 2nd, 2009 at 6:47 pm and is filed under news, ranting and raving, the economy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.